The Gift of Life

This morning at the station there was a blood drive held. They do that every so often, and I always forgot when they did because the last one was held before I switched to day shifts on Fridays and Saturdays. If I had had more forethought, I would have remembered to take a camera with me to mark the event.

Anyway, I got a new long sleeve t-shirt and a delicious chocolate cookie. This is not why I donated. In fact, I'd forgotten that part of it too. I used to give blood regularly and had gotten out of it, because the person I used to do it with (one of the Sgts) would take me on-duty to the donation site (not our station at the time) to donate. That was usually on a Monday evening. But he went to day shifts on Mondays and I had no more chauffeur (or authorizing person) to give me the time to go and donate on-duty. I have donated off duty before, but I tend to forget it most when it is left up to me to remember when and where. So it works out well that they are having them at the station on Fridays now, although I think they have had them there other days too. It has been quite some time since the last one was held there, I think. Maybe back last fall.

I can never definitively remember my blood type when I go a long time without giving it. They didn't tell me what it is, but I normally get something in the mail thanking me and informing me of my type. I think I have a card in my wallet that says what type I am do, but I never bother to look at it. I figure if I need blood at some point in my life, my wallet won't be far from me and they can see what type I would need for a transfusion. I think it is O positive, which I have been mistakenly believing to be one of the universal donor types, but it seems that would be O negative. Then again, maybe I am O negative. I'm sure I'll know again soon. I must have been asleep in biology class years ago the day the professor explained all that. I do remember that professor (I think his name was Robert Caben...something like that) because he tried me to convince me to switch my major to biology. I got an A in his class. :) He had me come to his office one day to discuss my paper (i have no idea now what it was on). I thought I was in trouble, or that he thought I'd plagarized or something because he didn't tell me why he wanted to talk about it. I knew I hadn't don't any such thing, of course, but that's what through my mind. I remember when he asked me if I had already declared a major and he said I did and it was right after I had declared Spanish as my major. He said it was a shame, since I showed significant promise in my paper to do well in the sciences. I thought, but didn't say, that it would have been like choosing Math as my major....BLAHHHHH! I just could not and still cannot ever imagine having ANY passion for such a career. Even though I have not and probably won't use my major for anything work-related, I don't regret having followed it. I still love language and I do get the occasional caller needing someone to speak Spanish with them. And, I still love literature. I just seem not to be cut out to do the whole research/writing part of it. It is a shame, though, because I have had several professors tell me that I write well.

How do you develop a passion for something you've never had one for? It seems to me that the passion to write is a personal taste that was somehow part of you when you were born, part of your unique personality. For instance, why do I prefer red and pink over other colors, especially red, while others prefer blue or black or some other color? I supposed to SOME extent I do have it. I mean, why else write this blog or a poem here and there? And I enjoy the feeling I get when I think I have done a good piece of writing on a research paper. But, I kind of think the attraction is more what kudos I might receive for it rather than any pleasure in its production. Then again, maybe I am just not at the point in my life where I derive pleasure from the act of writing and it that that pleasure may come when I am more "grown up". I suspect not though. If my writing style and ability to write well is as enjoyable and skillful as I have been given to believe by those who have read it, it seems such a terrible talent to waste. But how to do you become passionate for something you aren't. To me, it feels fake, like trying to feel passionate about Math. It just ain't happenin' folks!

Then that makes me wonder, what it is I AM passionate about. I guess I would have to say that my passion is to help others, to facilitate them being able to get ahead or get over some hurdle. Maybe that is why I landed in the kind of work I do. I do know I get the best feeling when someone I help reaches some goal or overcomes some obstacle. And it isn't just the kudos I get in their thanks, it is a warm feeling I get knowing I was instrumental (as minute as my influence might have been) in that person moving closer to where they want to be in their personal development. I truly enjoy helping others and seeing them achieve with my help. So, not being an accomplished writer or celebrated teacher or dispatcher of the year really doesn't matter much to me, when it is the help I render in and of itself that fills me with passion.

I suppose, in a small way, that is why I make a point to donate blood too. It helps and it is something I can do with regularity that does. That makes it appealing to me and it is my purpose for doing it. Knowing that that pint of my blood might just help save a life, is a revitalizing feeling to me.

Caught in the Act

The Fuzz knows I don't allow her in my office. But that doesn't stop the brat! This is the first time I've found her like this, but I bet it isn't the first time she's done it. I had no choice but to laugh.

It Could Be This Way For You...

[...if you wanted it and had the courage to go the distance, to take that extra step. People think they need to settle for a relationship that follows all the "rules", or rather expectations, of how a relationship must develop. Too many of them are content to enter into states of humdrum co-existence with their significant other where sex, passion, deep love and commitment are elusive things that only a few can attain. Even more of them don't want to put the effort into making it spark! I love the story of Sting and Trudie. I consider it one of the best examples of how you have to put your heart, soul, mind and body into it fully with the one you love, or your relationship is doomed. And Trudie is absolutely right, you cannot take it for granted that someone will stay with you, if you don't show them with EVERYTHING you've got that you love them. The only demerit I give the interview is that it is not more elaborate (maybe there's more in the magazine). This is an article from Harper's Bazaar magazine and the link to its online source is below the article. Enjoy.]

Trudie Styler Talks Steamy Bazaar Photos, Lasting Love With Sting
By Rob Shuter Posted Feb 17th 2011 05:10PM

Sting and his beloved Trudie Styler caused quite a stir last month when they posed in some stunningly sexy positions for Harper's Bazaar, and now as she readies herself to perform with her husband on stage in the Schumann music revue 'Twin Spirits,' she sat down with me to tell her side of the story. The talented actress also reveals her secret for staying in love with the same person for 29 years.

Were you surprised by the response your Bazaar shot got?
The response has been very positive, especially here in the U.S. People appreciate our relationship. There were a couple of folks who didn't understand it, but they hadn't seen the pictures. It was a fashion shoot with an amazing photographer, Terry Richardson, and beautiful clothes -- I think they're great photos.

Does all the affection you guys show ever embarrass your kids?
I think they're probably used to it by now. I'm sure it's much more positive than having parents who show no affection, or who don't even seem to like each other. I'm happy if we're an example of how a relationship can work for many years.

Why do a lot of celebrity couples deliberately not talk about private lives (Beyonce and Jay-Z, Chris Martin & Gwennie)
Better ask them! I don't go out of my way to talk about our private life, but sometimes small things get blown out of all proportion. I don't really think the public REALLY knows anything about our private life –- they just think they do!

You are getting ready to perform with Sting portraying the love of Robert and Clara Schumann. Tell me about it?
I worked with John Caird, the director who devised this piece, in my 20s at the Royal Shakespeare Company, so he knew me as an actor. I also think the fact that a husband and wife are playing another husband and wife had a lot of appeal. We always perform the piece as a fundraiser, and I absolutely love doing it.

Is it strange reading love letters to the man you love in public?
Not really, and I think it adds layers of meaning –- we can identify with the Schumanns being in love with one another, and I always find it extremely emotional to play Clara because it is really a tragic story.

What's the secret to saying so in love?
I feel very lucky in my life because we do still want to be with one another after all these years, but I don't take it for granted. Perhaps that's important, not to take things for granted. Relationships are hard work, and I'm glad that we both still want to make it work.

(Source: http://www.popeater.com/2011/02/17/trudie-styler-sting-harpers-bazaar-twin-spirits/)

New Connections

Last evening I was invited to dinner at the home of the second student I have enthusiastically taken on through Literacy Volunteers. Her name is Nancy and she is from Mexico. She is well-educated but wants to improve her English language skills (one of the many services offered by Literacy Volunteers; it is not just teaching people to read). We met through a Spanish conversation club that I recently started attending (Friday evenings at 5pm at the Koffee Kat, open to everyone) and decided to meet so that she could practice English. She has a 6-month old baby and we meet in her home, so she doesn't have to drag the little guy out quite so much. Those of us who have or have had little ones know just what a process it can be to bring them out for any reason (especially when they are that young).

About a week ago, Nancy said that she occasionally has friends over for dinner and asked if I would like to join them the next time they did that (which was last night's little soiree). I was so appreciative of being asked and readily accepted. And I am extremely glad I did. I had a wonderful time last evening. In fact, it occurred to me, in the midst of the after-dinner conversation, how I had never felt more at ease in a group (outside of any get-togethers with family) than I did at that moment.

You see, for the majority of my life, even as a child, I always had this feeling of being out of place. In fact, I still feel it, even among the co-workers I see every day. I get the sense that I don't quite "fit in", but it never really bothered me to any great extent. If there was any time in my life that it did, it was when I was a teen and young adult. It isn't that I don't get along with others. Generally, I think that I do and that I am perceived as being easy to get along with, for the most part. (I have my moments...don't we all?) And, of course, there are some individuals I get along with better than others and those tend to be my closest friends. But, I have always seem to gravitate toward those who I perceived as being singular. That is, those who generally, for one reason or another, aren't part of the "in" crowd or mainstream. And I have done so, for as long as I can remember. I remember having a Pakistani friend while living in Mississauga, Ontario in the mid to late 70's. My mother didn't mind it, but my father wouldn't let me play with him anymore. It may have also been because he was a boy and not a girl and I remember it was right after we'd been goofing off trying to tickle each other. But at the time I was only 8 or so and sex was even entering my thoughts at that point. I never understood until a few years later, why my father had gotten bent out of shape about it. I was really angry with him and hurt at the time, because in my 8-year-old mind I just thought he didn't want me to have any friends and he was just being mean.

I truly believe that my interest in and passion for diversity stems from my mother's influence. She embraced difference much more than my father had (or does...although he has changed significantly in that over the years). I am so thankful for the openness to difference that there is in me as a result and that I did not come to be as closed-minded as my father. Though he definitely had the more dominant personality of the two, I find it curious to this day, how her quiet influence eked its way at all into the composition of my character and personality given the very strong personality of my father. I think that my "liberal" nature (as some of my co-workers like to term it pejoratively) has been an asset to me and allowed me to broaden my perspective of the world in which I exist, and that without it my life would not have the richness I feel it has acquired.

All of this passed through my mind in an instant while sitting at Nancy's kitchen table enjoying the lively conversation and reflecting on an evening that had incorporated the use of 4 different languages (English, Spanish, French and Portuguese) throughout the evening. One of our group spoke and understood little more than a few terms in anything other than English, but his disposition was interested and engaging and his inability to converse more than just slightly outside of the English language did not prohibit him from interacting significantly in the conversation. I found myself, for the greater part of the evening, enjoying just listening and taking it all in rather than speaking. (There's a reason we have TWO ears and only ONE mouth. Think about it.)

All I know is that joining that Friday night Spanish group has opened up a new horizon for me in which I see the opportunity to meet and enjoy the company of a set of people with whom I feel very at home. We talked of books, movies, travel, interesting people that we have met or known who have made an impression on our lives. I look forward to the opportunity of strengthening these new connections I have made in my life.

Mission accomplished

I finally did it. I had my hair cut to donate to Locks of Love. The length of the minimum donation is 10 inches. My donation, if you pull it enough to straighten out the curl, is 13 inches long. Not quite a year ago I decided to grow my hair to donate and at that point I had estimated that I needed about another 6 inches to go. Well, I've managed more than 8 inches' growth in that time. Not bad for less than a year, I'd say. I didn't think my hair grew so fast. So, here are the results. What do you think? I kind of have a love-hate relationship going on with the haircut. I love the way the sides and back look but the front does nothing for me. Although, I am having a bad hair day today.



I like the right side view the best